IN-HOME CAREBREAKING THE I/WE DON'T NEED HELP BARRIERIn-Home Care, breaking the barrier to parents objections. When given a choice most of our parents wish to remain in their own home. This is where they feel safe and secure. It's their home and they are "in-charge". So how do you make this situation work when they are no longer capable of living on their own? Bringing in an outsider to help isn't a choice parents are frequently willing to do. They believe they are managing just fine on their own. "I can do it just fine". Having assistance from an outsider is seen as a threat to their independence, when it actually allows them to remain independent longer. They feel their privacy will be violated by this outsider also. Understanding this perception is key to breaking the negative barrier they have put in place. If both your parents are involved then approach the situation from the less needy side. It's to the less needy spouses benefit, to take some of the burden off of them. In-Home care will do the chores the spouse is less fond of or hard for them to do. Like heavier cleaning, yard work, shopping and driving them to appointments. In this manner the needier of the two, who isn't able to do much to help will feel they are doing it for the spouses benefit and not their own. Talk to the more independent parent explaining how they will have more time to spend with spouse or do some of the things they enjoy. Also let them know that this will benefit you also. That you won't be so worried about them all the time. That if something happened to the independent one their would be someone their to help them. Try to start the In-Home care early enough so that the caregiver is there certain days of the week or daily but not at night. If you feel someone needs to be there everyday you will need someone to relieve them 2 days a week. If family members can rotate this between themselves it can be more beneficial to everyone. Parents tend not to want an outsider to do "hands-on-care" so by diminishing the work load of the spouse they will be free to do the proper "Hands-on-care". In-Home care can be arranged for set "chores" and then as your parents become use to the caregiver they will feel more comfortable with allowing them to help more. If you have someone who lives alone then you approach the situation as you being the one who needs the help. That you are the one who will benefit from having In-Home care doing some of the cleaning or errands and driving to appointments. If your parent has problems with doing personal care you can have a nurses aide come in just for that purpose. Then you would have more time to do household chores for them. If you are working and caregiver suggest an In-Home caregiveror companion for them. Sometimes just a companion is all they will allow at first. Once they get to know this person they will allow them to help more. It is all in how you present the In-home care to them. Think about their personality type first, then choose a plan. One way I have found that works really nicely is to first find the caregiver and arrange with them to visit your parents with you. This is done as a friend not as a caregiver prior to you approaching your parents about having help. This also allows the caregiver to meet them first and to see the home and what needs to be done. You can also see if they will get along with the new person. What I have done before is take the caregiver with me on a couple of visits first. Then have the caregiver drop by when she"is in the neighbor hood" just to say hello and visit for a minute. If your parent does not say anything about the visit tell them the person said they had dropped in on them. See how they react then. Sometimes this is such a joy for them that they begin to like this "outsider". Give it a day or two then bring up the need for In-home care with them. If they are negative let it drop. Then talk to "your friend" about it and tell your parents this "friend" would come in and help them if that would be better for them. Another option would be to have the "friend" run them to the Doctors for you or do the shopping and deliver it to your parents. Saying that you could not get free to do it and they were happy to help out. Now, the outsider is known to them and they will appreciate the help. This way your parents won't have the objections they do with someone they have never met. By presenting the idea of help for them in the proper manner for their personality you can over come the negative. You now know how to approach your loved one but do you know how to find the right caregiver?
Hiring a Caregiver is the next step, just click the link below.
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