CARING FOR ELDERLYPart 1Accessing Estate, Paperwork and PlanningCaring for Elderly Parents is a concern for forty-one percent of Baby Boomers. If you have a living parent now, this is an added responsibility you face going into retirement. Caring for Elderly Parents can be very stressful and heart breaking especially when you do not have the information you need to carryout their wishes. Have you discussed their pending care requirements with them or other family members? Do you know what your parents wishes are for meeting end of life care? Do you know if they have Long-term Care Insurance?Having Long Term Care coverage is a blessing when you are the one Caring for Elderly family members. As your parents age this discussion can become more difficult.They fear losing their independence and freedom. Many elderly parents do not want to discuss financial matters with their children. Preparing to care for elderly parents efficiently requires knowledge of their finances and personal wishes. Where to start. Begin with the paperwork. This can be a little stressful for both parties if your parent is not willing to discuss these matters. Keep your Attitude light and easy. Do you know where they keep important papers, insurance policies, military service records, birth certificates, marriage/divorce papers, wills or burial arrangement documents? Do they have an Attorney? Or an Accountant? Get your parent to help you gather all documents together and place them all together. This way you can both look over the paperwork and possibly discuss it. If they want to know why you are wanting to do this now. Explain you are trying to be a Responsible son/daughter and have been reading articles regarding Caring for Elderly Parents and that you have already started putting your affairs in order for your own children and want to be sure that their wishes are carried out as they want. Do not try to control or force your parent, they might reject your help all together then. Think of how you would react to your child prying into your affairs, because this is probably how they perceive it. Having said this, you still have to act on these matters, the consequences of not doing so are very serious. It will effect how you care for elderly parents and your ability to cope with it. Try discussing one issue at a time in a casual way. Talk to them about where they want to live if they can not manage on their own. Would they want to stay in their own home and have someone come in to help them? You can find highly qualified attendants that specialize in Caring for Elderly persons that will work out a schedule that meets every ones needs. How do they feel about an adult community that has "apartments or condos" and provides services for them on an as needed bases. Notice I did not use the term assisted living, approach it as a senior community with all the "resort type" activities they can participate in. A social community catering to their age group. If this is a negative to them also would they be willing to live with you or another family member? Nobody wants to spend their final time in a hospital, explain that you do not want this for them either. Which means they need to tell you what they want so that you can all prepare for the expenses and care level ahead of time. Once they realize you are not prying, that you are only trying to be prepared for what can not be avoided, hopefully they will talk about things openly with you. If they still will not discuss these matters then you need an authority figure to assist you. Their generation seem to respect an outsider who they consider an authority and will follow directions or requests more readily from them. Either a trusted Doctor or an Attorney they have worked with. What is absolutely critical to know? Insurance Policies Medical, Long Term and life. Financial Institutions A complete list of accounts with locations. Banks, Investment firms and Pension accounts. Include the names and numbers for advisers, agents, accountants and any attorney who has assisted them. Estate Documents An up-to-date Will,(copy) Estate-Planning documents, Property Deeds and safety deposit box and key. You might also consider discussing a family trust with their Attorney. Are the Beneficiaries on Life Insurance Policies, Bank accounts and Investments as they wish them to be? Have your parents signed a Power of Attorney? If not be sure to get this handled A.S.A.P.. Do they have an Advanced Directive? By going over their estate now they will be able to tell if there will be estate taxes to be paid after they have passed.If it looks like taxes will be owed talk with an attorney for advice on how to avoid paying unnecessary taxes. If you have other siblings consider including them when you discuss these matters with your parents. Sharing the responsibilities of Caring for Elderly Parents doesn't over whelm one child unfairly. Caring for Elderly Family members is expensive, stressful and can cause the sole care giver to suffer unhealthy effects.It is very easy to become overly tired and become ill if you do not have enough help and support when needed. Now that you know how your parents estate looks and what their wishes are you can relax a little. If they wish to stay in their current home now would be a good time to see to safety issues. Caring for Elderly part two Home Safety click here.
Caring for Elderly Part 2 - Home Safety
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